I discussed the topic of bouncing delivery to i.e. gmail with Sean. He had a breakthrough suggestion after inspecting some full e-mail headers of bouncing mails. When using php's mail function, without any additional headers the mail is marked to be sent from {account}@opal5.opalstack.com
The mailserver is not able to sign the mail with the domain's DKIM etc since the account and domain are not related directly. But when using the -f additional parameter ( https://www.php.net/manual/en/function.mail.php ), the mail does get signed when you enforce your own domains mail address ( i.e. noreply@mydomain.com ). Beware that the parameter flag is "-fnoreply@mydomain.com" without any space after -f.
So far, in my early rollout, i've witnessed instant delivery, and a long lasting todo/wishlist item solved.
Hope this helps anybody, thanks Sean!